Just in time for April 15, a month from now, at which point this plot will still just be getting started!

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Blondie, 3/16/21

I know it can be hard to remember, since his character design is “Dagwood but with slightly smaller antenna and more normal clothes,” but Alexander is supposed to be a teenager! You’d definitely would definitely never get that from today’s strip by itself, since if there’s one thing teenagers don’t do very often, it’s praise old-timey TV genres that are being watched by their dad but in real life would be mostly enjoyed by people thirty years older than their dad. They’re not real observant about cleanliness, either, in my experience!

Shoe, 3/16/21

This strip got me thinking not so much about Roz’s love life as it did about the justice system established by and for the bird-people of Shoe. Specifically, I wondered, what form of execution is visited upon avian-human hybrids sentenced to death for their transgressions? Then I remembered that this has already been answered: the most heinous bird-criminals are cooked and eaten.

Judge Parker, 3/16/21

It has come to our attention that we recently hinted that something interesting, or at least violent, was about to happen in Judge Parker. We sincerely regret the error and invite you to sit back and enjoy this strip’s upcoming long and detailed look into the tax issues that can arise from converting residential or agricultural property to commercial use.