You can’t keep a good (or bad) Reeky down

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Slylock Fox, 12/14/20

Longtime readers of this blog know that I’m a big fan of the ordinarily audacious Reeky Rat, and it’s a little sad to see him so humbled here, without even shoes to wear in court. The solution to the “mystery” is just the punchline to an old joke — Reeky is going to pay his bail in quarters, the quarters he stole, ha ha! — but really, this is just Reeky soberly assessing his options. He needs to pay bail, and the only money he has for bail is those quarters. Is his method of bail payment legally admissible evidence? Probably his lawyer could tell him that, if he had a lawyer, but I guess you don’t get a defense attorney in Owl Court. Reeky’s on his own, and he’s just gotta put one foot in front of the other to figure out how to get out of this mess, and it’s sure gonna be a lot easier to do that if he’s not in jail, so it’s time for him to call his nephew to get that suitcase out of the storage locker down at the bus station.

Gil Thorp, 12/14/20

Welp, football season’s over, everybody! Are you ready for some basketball? Charle Roh is, despite the turmoil at home that probably arose when his stepdad engaged in cybercrime in order to advance Charlie’s athletics career, presumably leading to a messy divorce. Marcel Irby is, and he’s probably hoping for more in-strip time than last year, when he rated a single panel for his surrealist performance art. And Leonard Fleming is … not, because Gil threw him in as starting QB entirely for the purpose of punishing his other two QBs, and then he got injured in a meaningless game. Remember back in 2009, when former ace pitcher Marty DeJong, who blew out his arm under Gil’s “care” in pursuit of a championship, came back to Milford looking for revenge? Well, I hope Leonard has the guts to follow through, instead of meekly agreeing to coach little leaguers like Marty did.

Hi and Lois, 12/14/20

“It’s weird, it’s almost like we’re trapped in some inexplicable time distortion where technology and associated social mores change but our kids still stay the same age! Anyway, I guess Dot and Ditto both want an ‘Oculus Rift’ for Christmas, whatever the fuck that is. If they’re gonna text this stuff to me they could at least text me an Amazon link.”